13 plants that are (almost) impossible to kill
Advice from the depths of my sadistic gardening adventures
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If you want to be a good gardener, there’s really only one thing you need to do.
You don’t need to be a master of soil improvement (although that wouldn’t hurt), you don’t need to be able to name and identify every plant on the planet, you don’t need to have great attention to detail or an unquenchable thirst for heavy landscaping work. The secret to growing a healthy garden is actually very simple: you just need to notice which plants grow easily in your patch, and to keep planting more of them.
The truth is, it shouldn’t be hard for anyone to grow plants. Or, rather, it shouldn’t be hard for everyone to grow some plants. More specifically, it shouldn’t be hard to grow the plants that have evolved to thrive in the conditions of your garden.
Plants have evolved to grow almost everywhere on the face of the earth. All over the planet, plant life finds a way, whether the soil is heavy, rich and muddy, or dry, sandy and thin. If you’re routinely killing plants, chances are there’s nothing really wrong with you as a gardener - you’re just trying to grow the wrong plants.
Think of gardening like a game. Super Mario, or Zelda or Plants vs Zombies (you should always think of gardening like a game of Plants vs Zombies!!). There are levels. You start at level one, the easiest level. Just one slow moving, weak zombie, and all you need is a little pea shooter, maaaaybe a walnut shield.
(If you’ve never played Plants vs Zombies - PvZ to those of us in the know - I appreciate you’ll have no idea what I’m on about and I’m sorry but, as you’re reading this, you’ve already demonstrated an ill-advised willingness to follow my suggestions so - seriously - you should just go play Plants vs Zombies.)
ANYWAY.
Level one is easy and, as you get better at the game, things get harder and more complicated all the way up to the highest level of gameplay where you’re on the roof and the bungee zombies are lunging at you out of the sky and eating all your popcorn plants and you don’t have enough sunflower sunshine to plant any more potato bombs!!!
(Again, I’m sorry.)
Point is, it makes no sense to start playing any game at level 20. You need to start from the beginning. Level one. When things are simple, manageable, and you can build your skills and confidence up slowly. In short, don’t run before you can walk, don’t try to attack a scuba diving zombie before you’ve got enough pond weed to defend yourself, and don’t go trying to grow a bloody $300 Japanese Maple tree as your first ever garden project when you live in dry, sunny, sandy Western Australia!!!
You can do all of that one day, sure (although I tried it two years ago and now all I have is a dead Japanese Maple stick and a regrettably emptier bank account). But before you waste your time growing stupid plants that don’t want to be there, make sure you are growing the 13 little leafy legends I’m about to tell you about. These are the level one plants; the plants that love our climate, tolerate our soils and will make you feel GOOD about gardening.
They’ll probably even kill zombies for you!
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